Masquerade Queens
by FanWriter02
Summary: Hiccup and the gang come across a strange land where the woman wear gowns and the men... some sort of skirt. Confused but curious, Hiccup sets up a plan: disguise the girls in gowns and elegant dresses so they blend in with the others of the village. And Astrid? Not so thrilled about this prospect. Post RTTE, pre HTTYD 2. Cover by the amazing margarethelstone!
1. Chapter 1

**Heyo everyone!**

 **So, first off, I cannot take credit for this plot** _ **at all**_ **. I saw it as a fic suggestion on tumblr, by superfandomz, so if you want go check out their tag "SuperFandomzFicIdeas" and you'll probably see this one in there lol. But it was just too good to pass up. **

**And I also had people ask me to do this, so there's that as well haha. xD But, why make it a one-shot when it could easily be stretched into something longer? Perhaps a 3 parter or even a five-seven parter. Let's see how much we can make this silliness last lol.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter 1.**

Toothless bounced onto the sea stack, Hiccup instantly pulling out his spy glass to zoom in closer to the strange island before them. Toothless rumbled and gave himself a small shake in question.

"It's… very odd." Hiccup twirked his head and lowered the glass, staring on in bemusement. "They're strangely dressed, that's for sure."

Toothless snorted in agreement.

The others finally caught up, flying down to gracefully land beside and around him- all except Snotlout, who all but crashed into the face of the rock given to Hookfang's mischievous behavior.

"Hiccup, control that dragon!" Snotlout shouted, scrambling over the edge. "He refuses to listen, and is continually trying to get me killed!"

Hookfang grumbled in dragon laughter, eyes crinkling in mirth. Snotlout growled angrily, rolling up make-belief sleeves in a threatening manner, but somehow only managed to make himself appear more childish.

"Hush, would you?" Fishlegs said with a cross of his arms. He then turned to Hiccup, "Is that it?" He asked excitedly as he took in the large mainland spread out in front of them.

"It's _huge._ " Astrid breathed.

Hiccup leaned back and ran a hand through his hair, smiling dazedly. "It's not only that, but I see very few dragons. I don't think they like to fly this far South."

"We should go introduce ourselves!" Fishlegs squealed, clicking his fingers together.

Astrid shook her head and pointed out the large stone structure that seemed to be built into the landscape, blending in well but not so much that it escaped view. It slipped and flowed with the landscape, the thick choppy stone of the structure large and massive in scale. Hiccup had seen nothing like it before.

"Somehow, I don't think we'd be welcome." Astrid stated, hands on her hips. "Toss me that glass, Hiccup."

Hiccup watched as she peered through it, her face puckering in a frown when she finally saw the village. "What in the name of Midgard are they wearing!?"

Fishlegs squealed and grabbed the glass from her hands, fumbling to press it against his face. Hiccup grinned at the fuming Astrid, her eyes narrowed towards the island.

"Those little sissies." She huffed.

"Astrid, I belief those are… gowns." Fishlegs stated in disappointment, lowering the spy glass. "You know, fabric that wraps pleasantly around a woman's shape-"

"I know what a dress is, Fishlegs!" Astrid exploded.

Ruffnut cackled, "Have _you_ ever worn one, Astrid?"

"No, and I don't intend to either. Dastardly things that only get in the way." Astrid sniffed. "They're attire is so much different then ours… holy yak. How do they expect to do anything in those things?"

"I don't think the woman do." Hiccup spoke, relaxing against Toothless while his arms braced himself up. He glanced over at his girlfriend, flashing a lopsided smile. "I read somewhere in one of Johann's books that there are cultures that consider woman… of… well, of _lower_ stature."

Astrid's face visibly turned puce. "What..?" She said fiercely, fingers fumbling for her axe. "Let me at the men who brought this on and I'll chop off the piece of them they value!"

"Hold up!" Hiccup exclaimed, leaping off of Toothless's back and rushing to her side, plucking the axe out of her hand before she hurt someone- or _something._ "We have to think this through- it would be nice to get to know some different cultures, don't you think? Like, maybe they're Romans?" Hiccup rubbed his chin thoughtfully, glancing back at the island. He absently reached a hand out to Fishlegs for the spy glass, mumbling a sidetracked thanks as he raised it to his face. "Hm, I don't think they're Romans. I'm guessing… some sort of tribe…"

"We're not far enough South to meet Romans." Fishlegs said vaguely.

"I don't care who they are, I just think they deserve a good lesson or too. Maybe a round in the ring, let me show them what woman can do." Astrid mumbled to herself, gaze hard.

Hiccup laughed and patted her arm comfortingly. "Hey, don't' worry about it, Ast. I'm sure if the woman wanted to, they'd speak up and change the rules."

"Is wrong." She huffed.

Hiccup stiffened suddenly, mouth gaping from behind the glass. "What… in the name of Thor…"

"What now?"

"Look, there's a man standing out on that platform- please tell me he's not wearing a… _whatever_ that is…" Hiccup gulped, face pale. "That will haunt me in my nightmares."

"What!? Nightmares!? Lemme see!" Tuffnut jumped off his dragon's back and practically tackled Hiccup in his haste to grab the spy glass. "Holy crap!" He shouted, promptly shoving the glass back into Hiccup's hands. He marched back to Ruff and climbed aboard Belch, eyes wide and smile wild. _"I NEED ONE OF THOSE."_

"What? What is it?" Snotlout demanded, grabbing the glass out of the broken Hiccup's hands, who was staring absently at the island. "OH THOR."

"What is it!?" Astrid exclaimed, grabbing Hiccup's arm.

"These people have a thing for gowns, apparently." Hiccup mumbled.

"Even the dudes are wearing them!" Tuffnut shouted in excitement. "We have to check this out-"

"Hold your dragons." Astrid grabbed the glass and peered through it carefully, moving about slightly in search for what they were all so horrified by. She froze, her jaw dropped, and her hands lowered on their own.

There was complete silence for a moment, before Astrid's eyes twinkled and her mouth turned up slowly. She burst into boisterous laughs.

"What is so funny!?" Hiccup demanded as he placed his hands on his hips. "They're wearing _freaking skirts_ , for crying out loud! Guys! WEARING SKIRTS. So what- how in the name of-… I'm sorry but that's just…" He facepalmed while Astrid continued to giggle uncontrollably.

"Man-skirts, who knew?" Ruffnut cackled.

"They look… so ridiculous…" Astrid panted weakly, doubled over in her mirth. "I can't- how do they protect their woman wrapped in silks? Huh? If they themselves are… ho ho that's mixed up…"

"I think they're cool!" Tuffnut said in confusement. "I want one- think they'll sell me one? Or better yet, give me one?"

Ruffnut nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah! And maybe they'll give me one too! I wonder if you have to still wear undies under those things?" Ruffnut tapped her chin. "Because, if so, they'll have to lend us some."

"That's disgusting." Fishlegs gagged.

Hiccup tapped his prosthetic in impatient thought, eyes trained on the strange stone building. His eyes lit up and he snapped his finger. "Ah! I've got it now, that's a _castle_ , guys."

"Castle?" Snotlout asked with a scoff. "Please, those are just myths."

"No, castles are real, Snotlout. Unicorns- those _, those_ are myths. Unlike Bessie, which is very much real." Hiccup said professionally. "Castles are built out of stone- though they used to be built of wood- and they're large structures with one main building inside the outer wall called the Keep, where the ruler or chief lives with his family and servants. Surrounding the Keep, but still inside the defense wall are other buildings like huts, a Forge, a stables, et cetera."

"Stables? If they don't have dragons..?" Astrid wondered.

"Some creature they call a horse." Hiccup said with a shrug, turning to walk back to Toothless. "I don't know if they're real or not, although I saw a picture in a book once. They have four thin legs and a thick body, with a longer neck and head. Apparently you can ride them, although they can't fly."

"Well what's the use of that?" Snotlout exclaimed, patting the dazing Hookfang on the neck. "Dragon's are a hundred times better, right?"

"I'd think so anyways." Hiccup shook his head, looking just as confused as they felt.

"Alright then, if we want to explore this a bit more thoroughly, what're we going to do?" Astrid rested on hand on her hips, the other resting on Stormfly's neck. She tilted her head and smirked mischievously.

Hiccup grinned slowly in return, glad she was up for such a venture. "We're going in disguise."

"Disguise!?" Snotlout squeaked. "Please tell me we don't have to wear skirts- oh Thor." He buried his face against Hookfang's neck with a moan.

"I don't know, Snot… maybe we could show up as simple peasants, I'm not sure. But, I _do_ know you ladies can help out a ton." Hiccup grinned slyly. Astrid's smile faded as painful realization dawned.

"Oooh yeah…" Ruffnut cheered slowly, grinning lazily.

"Oh _no!_ What the heck, Hiccup?" Astrid stated in frustration, causing Hiccup to laugh in amusement. "Not funny, Haddock! You're gonna make me wear a dress, aren't you?" She accused with a glare.

"Please?" Hiccup pleaded innocently. "It'll be fun, honest!"

"I hate you."

"True love" Ruffnut said in mock dreamy voice. "Don't you just _love_ it?"

"Kinda like us, huh?" Tuff added. "Where we clunk our heads together to show sibling favor."

Fishlegs ran a hand down his face in exasperation. "Mhm, you two are not ones to talk."

Astrid sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, staring accusingly at Hiccup out of the corner of her eyes. He was still grinning maddeningly. "Alright, Mr. Snarky, where are we going to get a gown?"

"That's where Snotlout comes in." Hiccup looked to his cousin, who's face was still pressed against his dragon's neck. He seemed to burrow further, if that was possible. "Snotlout, you'll sneak in and buy some gowns, got it?"

"Okay, okay, I'm not entirely against this plan, but why is it always me?" Snotlout demanded, turning to give his cousin a pointed look.

"Because you have a way of fumbling your way out of trouble."

"I'm with Astrid: I hate you." Snotlout whined with a pout.

"And no dragon's either." Hiccup added.

"I HATE YOU WITH A _PASSION._ "

Hiccup shrugged and smiled, leaning his elbows back against the chortling Toothless. "I think I can live with t hat, Snotlout."

The Jorgenson exploded into a serious of rambling complaints and accusations, pacing in a frustrated circle while Hookfang watched on in amusement.

"Okay, so here's the deal." Hiccup said, eyes scanning the others. "If we want to get to know these people better, we need to blend in. So don't say anything out of turn, and just listen and watch what they're doing for the first hour or so. Try not to get caught up in anything, just blend in the background, got it?"

The others nodded, although some more grudgingly then others. The twins were all for the endeavor, while Fishlegs and Astrid were hesitant but willing for the excitement. Snotlout on the other hand, was blatantly against the entire thing.

"And who's going in first? Do I have to not only purchase womanly products, but those man dresses too?"  
"That's their attire is all, Snotlout. It's not a big deal- I'm sure we'd look just as strange to them… besides, I'm sure they have a purpose…" Hiccup said slowly, but it was clear he was just as confused as they. "We'll find out one way or the other, because we will be giving them a shot."

"Alright, this is officially your worst idea ever. I'll even take near-death experiences over _this!_ " Snotlout cursed under his breath.

"But the girls will be going first." Hiccup looked to Astrid, who sighed and nodded willingly. "Ruff, you up for that?"

"You bet your undies I am!" She called, fist pumping the air. "But seriously, bet your undies. I need _something_ to wear under those gowns…"

* * *

 **Just pure silliness and fun, guys! And I don't mean to offend anyone about their talk on kilts. They're different cultures banging into each other, they're gonna find each other odd at first lol. And as DreamWorks Vikings, they aren't used to gowns on woman, much less something similar on men. It's just odd for them, give them a break! xD**

 **Anywho, I hope you enjoyed this, and I'll see you next chapter! Toodles! :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi everyone!**

 **Here's next chapter, and it's moving slower then I thought lol. I never intended to include Snotlout's shopping spree, but lookie lookie what happened xD. It just sorta... happened. But that means this'll be longer then just a three parter, so yay to that!**

 **Enjoy. ;)**

* * *

 **Chapter 2.**

"This is stupid." Snotlout mumbled as he gave a hard tug on the oars, pushing him a few more yards through the water. "Stupid, stupid, stupid. How do I always get myself talked into these things?"

He glanced down at the small sack lying on the boat floor, filled with gold coins and strict instructions from Hiccup. _"Don't get sucked into anything regarding money, got it? Use it only to buy the outfits."_

Snotlout huffed irritably, giving the bag a kick. "Orders, orders." He muttered. "This whole thing is utterly ridiculous. Why can't we just soar in on our fire-breathing dragons and wow the crowds?"

Hiccup's answer to that question seemed to play inside his head. _"Because we'd probably get ourselves killed."_

"Shut up, Hiccup." Snotlout muttered to no one, staring at the large stone village that was steadily growing closer. With one final shove he backed into the wooden dock where other small vessels were tied, to which he did the same. He grabbed the money and marched down the dock, following the sounds of chatter to where he was sure the market must be.

He took a turn inside a gate, where a large man halted him. "What's your name, lad?"

Snotlout's eyes trained automatically to the man's waist, where multicple strings and ties and other busy assortment of dress were slung around him, making it difficult to tell where one rope ended and the other began. He wore a heavy checked cloak over one shoulder, matching the skirt he wore to his knees, which were bare until some high-top socks with leather shoes.

Snotlout blinked, forcing himself to keep from laughing. "Ah… I'm Snotlout Jorgenson of Berk, sir." He blinked, realizing that giving his real name wasn't exactly the smartest thing to do.

Idiot.

"Snotlout? Berk? Never heard of it." The man shrugged, readjusting the spear in his hand. "More information, boyo."

"My Dad is… Spitelout Jorgenson." Snotlout tried. "Ah… my cousin's Dad is the chief of Berk- Stoick the Vast? Heard of him?"

"Never."

Snotlout frowned and tightened his jaw, determined to make it through the darned gate. "Well, bucko, he's the _chief_ of _Berk_ , North of here a ways. I'm here to simply look around the markets, I brought my own money to pay for it too." He jingled the bag, proving he had some good hard cash to spend. "Now if you'll just let me through, I'd be most grateful." He added, sugar sweet.

The man groaned and gave another shrug, stepping aside and gesturing towards the market square spread out before them. "Fine, but when you come back through here I want to see you've bought each of those fairly."

"Thanks." Snotlout grumbled as he shoved past, stalking past different carts and merchants shouting prices and information. He did stumble to a pause by a beer cart, mouth watering. Forcing himself to continue he walked on, eyeing the different stands and merch.

He finally found a clothing section, which was overwhelmed with strong patterns of plaid. He forced himself to focus on them, finding it overly difficult to do so. Shopping was not his forte- at least, in the clothing section. Food on the other hand, he was quite skilled in that department.

He faltered by a large kart filled with the odd skirts, remember Hiccup's order to buy enough for all the guys to wear.

Snotlout smirked, the realization that Hiccup himself intended to wear one of the ridiculous things a hilarious image in his mind.

"Kilts! Kilts for 2 silver!"

"2 silver? For Thor's sake, that's a rip-off." Snotlout huffed, but stepped forward anyways. "What are these things?" he asked the merchant with a gesture towards the garments suspended from wooden posts.

"They be kilts, laddie. 2 silver a piece!"

"Kilts?" Snotlout scratched his chin, eyeballing them doubtfully. "Well, I need four of them."

"Four kilts? For who, yourself?" The skinny old man grinned, revealing crooked and yellowed teeth.

"For my friends- and me, apparently." Snotlout grumbled. He watched as the man grabbed a few for variety, hauling them to the wooden table.

"What size might they be? These are all adjustable, but the closer to their body-size we get, the better." The man sprawled each kilt out over the tabletop, displaying them easily.

"Well, one's giant sized, about twice the size of me." Snotlout explained, grabbing a giant oversized kilt that looked to be about Fishlegs size. "Eh, this one should work. Then the other one could probably be about my size…" He scratched his head under his helmet, trying to find a correct size for Tuffnut. He pointed one out. "That'll work."

"That it?"

"Nope, I also need one for a really scrawny dude."

"Scrawny, oi? 'Bout my size?"

"Scrawnier."

"My goodness, he must be a wee one." The old man cackled, stooping down to pick up a suitable sized cloth for Hiccup's lithe shape. "This one do?"

"Sure." Snotlout opened his pouch and counted out the correct amount of coins and poured them into the man's outstretched hand. He tossed one last one as he asked, "Can I ask for some information?"

"Certainly." The man replied as he tucked away the coins absently.

"What else do I need to go with these?" Snotlout held up the said kilts, looking the man up and down. "I'm new here and just want to fit in."

"Ah, I see. Well then, just go to that cart over there, they've got the rest of the things you'll need." The man pointed a gnarly finger at a cart opposite of himself, where a large oversized man, much to giant for his little cart, sat behind it, a long yard long beard nearly reaching his knees.

"Ah… thanks." Snotlout piled the kilts in his arms and stepped to the cart, where after much struggling and fumbling with prices he bought an assortment of socks, garments, and shirts. Somehow he even ended up getting them all color coordinated to their original ones.

"So confusing." Snotlout mumbled as he hauled his now quite large mountain of cloths to the man's suggested burlap sack, where he hastily stuffed his purchases. He slung the bag over his shoulder and made his way further on to the woman's section.

The first cart he passed had him ogling and jaw gaping, flushing red when he realized that this was a very horrible idea.

"Do they need any of those?" Snotlout whispered frightfully, skipping the cart. "I sure hope not, because there's no way I'll be seen buying any of _that._ "

Thankfully, it seemed women didn't need nearly as much as the men, or so it seemed. He paused at the first cart he saw that was run by a man, not wanting to be seen in the woman's department on his own.

"Okay, ah, I just need two gowns. A blue one and a grey one." Snotlout rambled, mind reeling as he tried to think up colors. First that came to mind for Astrid was blue, so he went with it. Purple or grey seemed to suit Ruffnut.

"Alright, sir." The man turned around and began tugging at different gowns, holding them up in display. "Will this one work?"

"Too big. They've both got tiny waists."

The man smiled knowingly, eyes twinkling. "Purty ones, aye?"

Snotlout scoffed. "They don't _need_ a tiny waist to be pretty."

The man shrugged and replaced the dresses, pulling out others. The second was a sky blue with a light green sash hanging down from the waist and a lower colored neckline, but looked to be reasonably modest. The other was a very pale purple- which the man described as "lavender. They seemed to be suited somewhat for Astrid and Ruffnut's build, so he hastily excepted the offer.

"Twenty a piece."

"TWENTY A PIECE!?' Snotlout exclaimed in shock. "Are you serious!?"

"Serious as I'm standing here."

With a growl Snotlout dumped the last of his money into the man's outstretched palm, grumbling as he stuffed the gowns into the sack. "Well, Hiccup, we'll all just have to do with the boots we own." Snotlout mumbled under his breath, slinging his sack over his shoulder as he made his way quickly back towards the gate. He forced himself to look straight ahead as he passed the liquor section, finding it painful not to stop and bargain for some.

The guard stopped him, as promised.

"Look, fella." Snotlout dangled his empty pouch before him, scowling. "I'm broke! How expensive can clothing be? Geez." He shoved past, the guard not bothering to stop him.

He threw the sack into the bottom of the boat and clamored in, shoving away angrily. "Hiccup better appreciate this." He muttered spitefully. "Because this is the last time I'll do his shopping!"

…

"Hiccup, you can't be serious." Astrid chortled as she placed a hand on her hip, eyeing him up and down.

"Do I look serious?" He replied, putting on a playful "stern" face.

"When you're wearing that, it's hard to take anything you say seriously." Astrid laughed, staring at his knees visible between the socks and "kilt". He had somehow fashioned some cloth to fold over the wooden part of his prosthetic, hiding his left leg somewhat. But she could still clearly see his right knee.

Hiccup shrugged into the cape that suspended over his shoulders and to his hips, planting one hand on his hip and waving the other in the air. "Oye, I'm wearin' me a kilt!" he hoisted with an over-dramatized accent, almost mimicking his father.

Fishlegs stumbled out from behind the rock, squeaking and grappling at the kilt. "This is foolish!" He cried, rushing back in to readjust it.

"This is _hilarious._ " Ruffnut wheezed from her place on the ground, where she lay face down and slowly pounded her fist against the ground in mirth. "Hahaha, oh Thor."

Snotlout stepped out scowling, marching to the very edge of the sea stack. He turned back to face them, kilt swirling around his knees. "I jump if any of you say a word."

Astrid puffed her cheeks in her attempts to keep her laughter under control, while Ruffnut didn't even try and burst into energetic cackling, rolling over onto her back.

"This was all his idea!" Snotlout shrieked, pointing a finger at Hiccup. "I vote revolt!"

Hookfang grunted in unamusement, easily flicking his tail against Snotlout's chest and sending him falling over the side with a scream. The dragon cackled before jumping after him to rescue him before he hit the water.

"Well, now it's your turn, milady." Hiccup grinned, tossing the blue gown at her chest. "Hop to it, lassie!"

"Shut up." Astrid laughed as she stepped past him and behind the rock, where Fishlegs was still struggling to tighten the ties of his kilt. He squeaked and hurried away out of sight, allowing her privacy.

"Hiccup, I need some assistance." He asked, gesturing to the ties in his hands. Hiccup gave them a tug, tightening the waist as Fishlegs hurriedly tied them.

Ruffnut resumed her squawking.

It was Tuffnut's turn to enter, to which he did so grandly. Jumping around Barch's wings, he extended his arms with grandeur and stepped in large paces. "I. am. Loving. This." He said slowly, grinning from ear to ear.

"Well, I'm glad one of us are." Hiccup laughed, tapping his knuckle. "Hear that, Astrid!?"

One of her shoulder guards came flying overtop the rock, nearly bouncing off of Hiccup's head. "Is that a yes?"

"Sure is, Haddock!"

"Since when did you call me by my last name?"

"Since you thought up this ridiculous plan. If you can call it that."

Hiccup grinned widely. "I thought you liked daring adventures?"

"When they make sense, sure I do. But this- this is absurd."

Hiccup fell silent as he listened to the sound of metal clanking and cloth dropping. When Ruffnut continued to chuckle he turned and told her to go and get changed as well, to which she did so with stumbling footsteps and continued cackling.

The rest of Astrid's clothing came flying over the rock, forcing Hiccup to bend down and pick them up. "You done yet? How many layers do you wear, anyways?" He called.

"I'm done, snarky. I just can't… get these blasted buttons!" There was a frustrated grunt, along with a sharp thud against stone. "Ugh- Hiccup!"

"I'm coming!" Hiccup smiled to himself, stepping back around the stone. Astrid stood there with her arms cranked behind her neck where she was tugging sharply on the jumble of clothing wrapped around her.

"My goodness, you are tangled, aren't you." Hiccup smirked, tapping his chin and crossing his arm across his chest.

"Shut up and help me." She chuckled, turning her back towards him. Hiccup carefully buttoned the last few remaining buttons of the dress, pulling her braid out from within it so it trailed down her back.

"Could you tie this, too?" She pulled on the green sash. "I can't figure it out."

Hiccup nodded and carefully tied the ribbon into something that resembled a bow, although it was by no means neat, it would do. He stepped back with a clap of his hands.

She turned to meet him, effectively stunning him speechless. The gown swirled at her feet, just touching it in long folds. The sash dangled from her waist, up to where the bodice fit her as though it were made just for her. The sleeves were slim fitting, clinging to her arms.

She wiggled her eyebrows with a smirk. "Do I look just as ridiculous as you?"

"Heck, no." he breathed.

She snorted and crossed her arms, slouching in her very Astrid-like pose. Even in the un "prim" position, she was gorgeous.

"You know, I'm not so sure about this plan." Hiccup said thoughtfully, once again tapping his chin. He gazed twinkling eyes up to Astrid's own laughing ones, realizing too late that this might not be such a good idea.

"Well, perhaps you'll just have to escort me then?" She smirked.

"Original plan is being revised." Hiccup laughed, grabbing her hand and giving her a twirl. "You look beautiful."

"Thanks, even if I do feel like a tent." She came a to a pause and readjusted the waste. "Do you think I could still wear my armor?"

Hiccup chuckled. "I doubt it, Ast. Don't you think that'd look a bit suspicious?"

"I suppose." She sighed and shrugged the skirt. "Alright, let's get this over with."

With that she stepped out from behind the rock, met by Snotlout roaring laughter with Tuffnut chanting some silly song. Hiccup ran a hand down his face with a heavy groan, wondering what in the name of Odin he just got himself into.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3.**

Astrid took tight hold of the rope and tugged sharply in attempts to secure the boat firmly to the dock. Once done she looked up towards the far off sea stack, giving a little wave of her hand to let them know they'd arrived safely.

Ruffnut was having more trouble then her, unfortunately, stumbling about uselessly in the dress like it was a sack without a bottom.

With a tap of her hands Astrid moaned and bent down to drag Ruffnut out of the vessel. "You good now?" She asked impatiently.

" _Good_ is a strong word, young lass. Use it sparingly!" Ruffnut chortled with another stumble. She straightened up and smoothed the folds of her skirt, looking sloppy but prim. She turned her nose up and began walking down the dock towards the gate. Astrid grabbing the satchel from the boat before taking after her.

Just as Snotlout had said, there was a giant man standing at the gate.

"Oi, what're you two pretty ladies doing out here without an escort?" He asked suggestively in a heavy accent, wiggling his eyebrows.

Astrid huffed and tilted her chin up, hand itching for her axe. Thankfully Hiccup had agreed that precautions should be made, so had given her her daggers, safely hidden under the multiple layers of dress.

"We're here on a spree, to see some friends of ours." Astrid answered hotly. "Let us through or we'll-"

Ruffnut coughed innocently with a jab to Astrid's ribs, causing her sentence to sputter to an unfinished close. Ruff stepped forward slowly and daintily, batting her eyelashes.

"Dear sir, would you let us through? Our grandmother is very ill." She asked so quietly and innocently, Astrid was stunned speechless.

The guard nodded and moved to the side, letting them slide through. "Your grandmother? What's her name, lasses, and I might make a stop later."

Ruffnut's jaw cranked up and down wordlessly, but before the guard grew too suspicious Astrid grabbed her arm and dragged her away hurriedly, cursing her skirts for slowing them down dramatically.

"Hey!" Ruffnut pulled away with an irritated roll of her eyes. "What was that for?"

"You're gonna get us arrested." Astrid hissed.

Ruffnut stared at her before placing her hands on her hips, disbelieving. "We're _ladies,_ Astrid. They won't arrest us."

"How do we know that?" Astrid grunted in return. She slowed her gait once they reached a small staircase, bringing them to a higher level of the village. They easily trotted up it while avoiding the others that were going down the steps on the other side. Astrid was truly amazed by how many people were up and about, it was almost crazy. This place was definitely bigger then Berk, more populated but definitely not any more organized. The thing that annoyed her was their defenses. Sure, they had a stone castle and wall, but they had no weapons or catapults to be seen. That, and they had a crappy guard at the entrance. Had this been Berk, since they rarely got visitors, Stoick himself would've been down to meet anyone new to the village.

Astrid eyed the buildings in wonder. If Hiccup was there he'd be calculating exactly how they built them or how they were formed, but she took them in for what they were. She'd let the nerd take care of the difficult calculating all he wanted when he dared to enter the grounds in his skirt.

She snorted again, the image of Hiccup doing some silly jig in that odd piece of clothing an amusing- and somewhat terrifying- image.

"So what's the point of us being here again? To snoop?" Ruffnut spoke up, appearing bored with her arms crossed and gaze straight ahead. "If that's all, leave me and do it yourself. I want to try some of their food."

"Hush." Astrid ordered quietly. "Hiccup just said to get to know the culture a bit, I'm guessing he means an hour or two wandering about. Then we're to get dressed back in our old clothes and go see the chief." She jiggled the satchel for emphasis.

"I'm confused. Then what's the point of dressing in disguise?" Ruffnut sniffed at her clothes disdainfully.

"Ask my diluted boyfriend." Astrid mumbled "Personally, I think he just wanted to see us in dresses."

"Well, not to brag but-" Ruffnut wiggled her butt. "I think I pull off the look quite well!" She grinned and crossed her arms, slouching in her normal posture.

"I hate these." Astrid repeated for the utmost time. She paused by a bench and plopped into it in exhaustion. The tight waist was cutting off her air supply dramatically, not to mention the strange hard contraption constricting her breasts and chest. She was surprised she could breathe at all. "There's no way women can get anything done in these darned things."

"We can con." Ruffnut cackled.

"Excuse me."

Astrid looked up quickly at the sound of the lighter tone belonging to a young man, gaze locking with a brown eyed stranger. His hair was tied back in a sloppy bun at the nape of his neck, an odd hat on his head and a clean shaven face. He looked young, perhaps a bit older then Hiccup by a few years. Astrid would've been able to take him seriously, if he'd not been wearing a ridiculously short kilt to reveal not only his knees, but some of his legs as well.

It was a struggling battle not to burst out laughing.

Ruffnut didn't seem deterred, eyelids falling as she stared lustfully at his muscular shape. "Mm, excused." She purred.

The man flashed a charming smile that looked routine and forced, not light and happy like any others. Astrid eyed him suspiciously, not certain he could be trusted.

"Are you young ladies new to _Glas_? I don't believe I've seen you on these streets before."

Before Ruff could open her big blabbery and love sick mouth, Astrid hurried to reply. "We're visitors, not staying long."

"Oh? Visitors from where?"

Crap, crap. Crap crap _crap crapcrapcrap._

Astrid blinked rapidly, unsure of how to answer. This wasn't in the plan!

"B-Ber…Berv..?" She stuttered. Frustrated with herself, she hurried to correct. "We're from Berv, a ways from here."

"Berv…" The man eyed them down suspiciously, quite obviously disbelieving. "I don't think I've ever heard of such a place."

"You haven't." Ruffnut snorted. "Berv, _seriously?_ "

Astrid growled a warning under her breath, hoping Ruffnut would shut up- and fast.

"Berv, interesting. Well, I am Prince Ruari," He took a quick bow, then waved his hand to the landscape behind him, including the large towering stone structure. "welcome to Gras!"

"Thanks." Astrid said guardedly. "Prince, did you say?"

"Yes, my father is King Oisin and my mother Princess Claire." He said the names proudly with a boastful puff of his chest.

He seemed so proud, while all Astrid could wonder was " _Such odd names."_

Then again, to them, Snotlout and Fishlegs were probably pretty strange as well.

"It was nice to meet you, Ruari-"

Ruari frowned. "Prince." He corrected stiffly.

Astrid puckered her brow crossly, but obliged, " _Prince_ , Ruari, for the introduction. But we must be going."

Ruffnut stuttered in protest, but Astrid just smiled awkwardly at the Prince while dragging her friend off the bench and shoving her forward on past. "Eh, bye!"

He didn't bother to make a returning farewell, which bothered Astrid but she didn't make anything of it. She turned around, yet she could still feel his gaze burning into her back.

"I don't like that man." Astrid whispered quietly.

Ruffnut shook her head. "Why _not?_ He was hot…"

"He was not." Astrid snapped, having found nothing at all attractive about the man. He seemed arrogant, like he was above her in some way. He wasn't. They were equal; she was in no way lower in skill.

She bet her bits she could beat him in any weaponry match, the pampered scoundrel.

"You didn't see those muscles? Or his hair or-"

"No, I didn't." Astrid replied, hoping that would end the conversation. "I'm ready to leave, how about you?"

"Ready? Not after that I'm not-"

Astrid grunted upon impact, bumping into something big and solid. She looked up into the terrifying face of an over sized woman who was glaring back down at her through tiny black eyes. Astrid smiled cheekily, hoping for forgiveness.

"Sorry." She murmured as she stepped aside. "Wasn't watching where I was going."

The lady just glared at them as she walked by, making Astrid ten times as nervous. She'd never admit it, but that women made her fear she'd come after her in her sleep to kill her- silently, of course.

"Should we go see the king? If you'd let me seduce that Prince back there it would've been a lot easier." Ruffnut grumbled.

Astrid had to admit to that one, she'd probably made a bit of a mistake ending their conversation with Ruari so soon.

"You're right." She sighed, glancing back. The Prince was no where in sight.

"Well miss I'm-never-impressed." Ruffnut guffawed with a cross of her arms. "What are we going to do now?"

"Go and find that Prince, I guess." Astrid sighed and rubbed her eyes, not at all wanting to speak to that man again. "Let's go…"

"Isn't this the point where we signal the guys?"

Astrid paused, glaring back at the grinning Ruffnut. She lifted a finger in the air, smiling proudly. "I actually remembered!"

"Congrats, and you're right." Astrid turned back towards the sea, but she knew they probably couldn't see her from behind the wall. So she walked a bit further on until she reached a small space between a thatched roofed hut (which seemed ridiculous to her, how on earth did they survive fires?) and the wall. Ruffnut boosted her up until she landed clumsily on the top of the wall, once again cursing her dress.

She looked up and finally found the sea stack off in the distance, hoping the guys saw her, and if not, they'd just have to introduce themselves on their own.

"Do we get dressed now?"

"No, we'll wait." Astrid replied, even though it pained her. She wanted to get out of the dratted skirt and boned breast cage as fast as possible, but knew if they wanted to convince the Prince to take them to the King she'd have to appear like the women they knew and understood.

Which seemed absolutely stupid, but whatever.

Ruffnut was ahead of her by a few good paces, eager to find prince charming while Astrid was everything but. She lugged their satchel instead, keeping a sharp look out for trouble.

Ruffnut waved a hand and pointed ahead, directing her towards a wooden stand of what appeared to be a drink of some kind. There Ruari stood, holding three of the drinks in his hands while setting a pile of coins on the counter.

"Ruari!" Ruffnut called, waving her hand dramatically. He spun around and grinned brightly, stepping their way.

"We meet again, so soon?"

"Yes, we were wondering if you could tell us the way to the castle." Astrid said carefully and slowly, nudging Ruffnut's shoe with hers to tell her to just _stay quiet._

Ruari narrowed his eyes. "To the castle?" He asked cautiously. "Now why would you want to go there?"

"We need to speak to the King- your Dad." Ruffnut piped up, which earned her another sharp jab from Astrid.

"My father? Why?"

"We have some… _official_ business from… Berk to discuss."

"Berk? But I thought you were from a place…"

Astrid hurried to interrupt. "Berv is another name to call it, but it's namely known as Berk. We're from a ways North."

"Ah, and that's for the odd accents." Ruari chuckled and nodded. "So what are you? Princesses?"

"Shield maidens." Astrid said boldly, feeling confident. "Well, I am. Ruffnut here is questionable."

" _Ruffnut!?_ " The man choked on his drink, liquid sputtering out and drenching his shirt and chin. He wiped a cloth across his mouth, staring at them in laughing disbelief.

"Yes, Ruffnut." Astrid replied firmly with a clench of her fists. "What's it to you?"

"What sort of name is that for a woman?"

"You can call me whatever you want…" Ruffnut whispered with a little wiggle of her eyebrows.

Astrid looked first at Ruffnut in horror, next to the still giggling Ruari. With an exasperated shrug, she said, "Yes, and I'm Astrid Hofferson. Care to take us to the King?"

"What business did you need to discuss?"

"Friendly, we've never been here before and we just wanted to introduce ourselves." Astrid replied honestly. She glanced back down at the gate and dock below, smiling when she saw the overloaded boat slowly making its way towards port. She glanced at the sky, high above able to spot what looked like a large eagle with a long tail, but she knew better.

"Our other friends should be here shortly."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4.**

"DRAGON!"

Astrid face palmed with a moan, dragging her hand down her face ever so slowly in utter exasperation. "Ruari, calm yourself before you have a seizure."

Dropping his cup to the ground, the young prince made a dash towards the rattled crowd. Ruffnut easily stuck her foot out before him, tripping him to splat across the ground.

"Hold up, fella." She bent down and plucked him up by his shirt collar. Turning to Astrid, she awaited orders.

The crowd was murmuring and calling disbeliefs, while most of them sounded awed, others were screeching in terror. Astrid tugged at her braid in dread, realizing too late that this entire idea was far worse then they'd imagined.

"We just made some enemies." She whispered.

"Won't Stoick be pleased?"

Ruari cowered while hiding beneath his hands. "Who's he?"

"Oh, hush." Ruffnuit grumbled. She released the poor kid with a shrug, but watched him carefully to be sure he didn't escape again.

Toothless was silent as he slid down towards Astrid. Even from a distance, she could see Hiccup's tunic, aka "kilt", flapping in the wind behind him. Thankfully it looked like for the riding purposes he'd slipped his trousers back on underneath.

Toothless bounced across the stone ground, and instantly the people scattered with shouts of terror. The dragon glanced about with wide eyes, looking nothing at all like the devil they claimed him to be. He purred gently, tiptoeing to a building and sniffing it curiously. Astrid grimaced when the dragon lifted his hind leg, eyes fluttering in pleasure as he relieved himself. Hiccup coughed awkwardly as silence reigned.

Hiccup lept off and tugged at his helmet, setting it back on the saddle. He grinned widely when he caught sight of Astrid, eyes twinkling merrily.

"Alright, you idiot. This is up to you now, fix this mess." Astrid growled with a thump to his chest. Hiccup grunted quietly but was still smiling, enraging her further.

"Do you want to start a war or something!?" Astrid exclaimed. She shoved past him, crossing her arms. "Because I think you've convinced _him._ " She jerked her thumb in the quivering Ruari's direction.

"Sorry- I just figured-"

"You figured very, very, _very_ wrong." Asrid huffed. "Now explain what you "figured" to do, mr. Smarty Pants. Literally."

Hiccup looked down at his lopsided kilt, glancing back up to give her an unamused expression. "Har, har. You're a riot."

"Can someone explain before that beast roasts me for his supper?" Ruari chattered. Ruffnut grabbed him once again, pulling him to his feet.

Hiccup stepped forward and extended his hand cheerfully. "I'm Hiccup Haddock of Berk. We're here on friendly terms, so don't worry about Toothless. He's harmless."

To prove his point, Toothless stumbled by just then chasing a fluttering butterfly.

"Very… odd names…" Ruari repeated, but he ignored the offered hand. Hiccup shrugged and let it fall to his side.

"Well, we're two different kingdoms. At home our names are normal- besides mine. Mine's just a figment of my parent's imagination." Hiccup grinned. "Care to give me your name?"

Ruari seemed to remember his stature, for he puffed his chest proudly and tugged at his vest. "I'm Prince Ruari of Glas, which is exactly where you happen to be standing. So if you wish to be a friend of ours and not an enemy, I'd suggest you give up your weapons and make way to my father."

Hiccup instantly pulled out his knives and tossed them to the lad, who caught them deftly. Tapping them into his bag he gestured for them to follow.

"Hold up, we have to wait for the others." Astrid halted Ruari by the arm, giving a quick sideways look towards the gate. Seems like they'd made it through somehow, for the group of men were making there way towards the stairs. Except for Tuff, who kept wandering off like a child in a candy store.

"That them?"

"Yes, the girly ones. We can go now." Astrid mentally face palmed as she trotted after the Prince. Cursing her skirts, yet again, she swore to give Hiccup a good pep talk about this whole thing later.

Idiot.

"My father's a busy man, I wouldn't set your sights on seeing him anytime soon."

"If not?"

"I have the power to kick you out of Glas myself."

Astrid rolled her eyes, not bothered by this prospect. Getting thrown out sounded like a glorious idea.

Toothless jumped up beside her, tongue lolling happily as he watched and smelled the sights about him. People were slowing crawling out of hiding places, eyeing the newcomers warily. But, at the sight of their prince walking with the group of strangers- _and_ a dragon- they seemed to get a hold of their kilts, in a manner of speaking.

"There's the stables, where we have real steeds." Ruari said proudly with a wave of his hand towards the building. Toothless quirked his head in puzzlement.

"Dragon's are-"

"Dangerous beasts who should only serve as a mantel piece." Ruari snapped, voice harsh. Astrid forced herself to stay under control. The sight of Hiccup flinching at the words was almost enough to send her spilling over the edge of rage.

"I see." Hiccup said simply, tone quiet. Astrid swiveled her head towards him in silent disbelief. He flicked her a quick gaze that clearly stated to be mute, which she grudgingly obeyed, not to her liking.

The trek was long and quiet, even when the others caught up. The twins began disgusting to themselves, until Tuff shoved Ruffnut away, withdrawing in disgust. The girl rolled her eyes and strolled faster while poor Tuff coughed in clear disturbance over Ruff's entire crush affair.

"Here we are. Just wait here, I'll speak to the count." Ruari disappeared past the castle gates, leaving the others alone momentarily.

"What were you _thinking!?_ " Astrid exploded under her breath. Stepping up, face to face with her boyfriend, she punched him smartly in the shoulder. _"You are an idiot…"_

Hiccup shushed quickly. "Astrid, trust me, we'll be fine-"

"By landing on a fire-breathing reptile!? You seriously think they'll trust us after that!? You and your dramatic-"

Ruari appeared just then, causing Hiccup to slap his hand over Astrid's open mouth. Glaring at him angrily, she stepped back with a frustrated growl.

"Right this way. Seems my father is interested." Ruari shrugged leisurely and disappeared again. This time, Hiccup followed.

"Can I say it again? This is officially your worst idea ever." Astrid hissed under her breath. Hiccup's lip twitched in a hidden smile, which sparked a flame of fondness for the dork.

No matter what stupid thing he did, somehow, she just couldn't stay mad at him.

The castle was of dreary grey's, with some parchment and woven rugs hanging on the walls. Guards in kilts and plaid patterns lined the walls, holding spears or swords. Somehow, it seemed colder, a bit sad even, than the Great Hall back home, where there were multiple fires lit at all times and the warm colors of browns and yellows bouncing off the walls made it feel warm, even during the winter.

This held an almost prison like atmosphere.

Two large doors were pushed open by soldiers at the end of the corridor, to which led them into a large, long room. At the end on a small raised platform sat a giant chair, in which sat a tiny, skinny, elderly man.

"Father." Ruari dipped his head quickly, before turning and waving his hands towards the Berkians. "These are the dragon friends."

The old man grunted as he stood, adjusting some sort of obstacle on the end of his nose. Astrid blinked in confusion, but watched in interest as he slowly clambered down the steps, kilt flapping around his scrawny knees.

"Speak your names." His voice, which Astrid had suspected to be weak and crackly, was surprisingly deep and clear. It held a demand to it, daring anyone to defy him.

Hiccup dropped to one knee, elbow resting on his thigh lightly as he ducked his head. "Hiccup Haddock, heir of Berk, sir." He rose and grabbed Astrid's hand, pulling her closer. "This is Astrid, my betrothed."

The King nodded in recognition, waving his hand in greeting. "Welcome, Berkians, to Glas. I am King Oisin. How is your father, young Hiccup?"

Hiccup's head jerked up in wide-eyed surprise. "You know my father?"

"Stoick the Vast?" King Oisin nodded with a faint smile. "I know him well. He and I got along quite well at chieftain meetings. We held them once every year until we went our separate ways nearly eight years ago… you were just a lad then. He spoke of you fondly."

Hiccup's look displayed his surprise, as did Ruari's slack jawed expression.

"And, the dragon?" Oisin stepped closer, eyeing Toothless cautiously.

Hiccup grinned and grabbed the dragon's head, giving him a little pat on the nose. "This, is Toothless, your Highness. He and I are friends, I promise he won't harm you or anyone here on the island."

Toothless crooned in agreement, eyes wide and appearing totally and completely innocent.

"I heard the news of kinship with the… animals." The King's voice was soft, and uncertain. It was clear he had mixed feelings about this friendship.

Hiccup nodded absently. The others coughed awkwardly from behind, demanding attention.

"Oh, right. These are my friends, Fishlegs, Tuffnut, Ruffnut, and Snotlout."

"Welcome." The King smiled. "You are _all_ welcome for as long as you wish. I will have some rooms prepared…" in saying so he looked past their shoulders towards the servants standing in the back. They scuttled off to do as bidden.

"No- that's, that's not necessary." Hiccup interjected quickly. "We're out on Southern patrol, actually. We should be heading back tonight."

"Oh, dear. Well, won't you stay for the banquet?"

"Banquet!?" Ruari squeaked.

"Food!?" The twins exclaimed happily. "We sure will!"

Hiccup laughed quietly, and nodded. "That sounds amazing, sir. Thank you."

"Anything for friends of Stoickl." Oisin nodded happily and waved his hand at yet more servants. "The preparations shall be made. Ruari-"

The Prince snapped to attention.

"-take our guests on a tour. And _do_ try to be polite."

Astrid almost laughed outright at the statement. It only made her like the King more, and think less of his son, who was truly a propitious brat. But his father seemed like a wise man, open to ideas. Yet, even in his small stature it was clear he was a brainy warrior. In a way, he reminded her of Hiccup. Small, skinny, but definitely fiery and clear minded.

He'd probably outlive them all. Both he _and_ Hiccup.

Then again, it was always the spiteful ones who lived the longest. Watch Ruari go and live to be a hundred, causing disaster and havoc everywhere he went.

"Come on." Ruari muttered sulkily. Turning to follow him, the others headed out. Astrid hesitated, opening her mouth to say something more to the King. Oisin merely winked with a little twitch of his white beard, eyes twinkling.

* * *

 **Omgosh, it's so short. *sobs***

 **I want to apologize for like… not writing anything at all lately. I'm so so so sorry. I think it might be time for another break or something. I haven't had one since June…**

 **And, as I'm sure you all know since many other authors are dropping out for the same reason, it's NaNoWriMo! (I just realized this was a thing like, a month ago? xD) So convinced by my friends, I thought I'd give it a try. I'm gonna try and get some other HTTYD stuff written, updates, etc. So, I might kinda lay back on the updating until December.**

 **We'll see if I can stay away that long lol. :P**

 **Also, a big thank you to _margarethelstone_ for making the cover art for this fic! :D **

**Anywho, till the next update. Toodles!**


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